I am tired of seeing the mountain burning. But the ashes keep coming. They are swirling in the air, collecting on the windshield. I watch them and try to imagine what they meant by the phoenix rising because these ashes are not valiant or brave. They belong to nothingness and nobody, shedding across my shoulders and sleeves and then floating off again, indifferent to where they land or travel.
News anchors report sundowner winds / contained / evacuation, someone reassures cleansing / renewal. But nothing is certain. As in, everything is un-certain.
The fire is relentless. It glows at sunset, rages across the ridges of the mountain. Like a life, steadfast and unrelenting. Fleeting. Breaking news reports California wildfires / Mirzakhani / Damond / Bennington / no relief in sight.
The ashes fall faster, like snow. The fire is looming. I look for cues. But no one else is looking up. No one seems to care about the ashes, the death and the dying. I join in. We pretend not to see the little fragments of trees and brush falling from the sky. We go on with our days, turning our faces from the red sun, blinking away the ashes from our eyes.
READ MORE
Wildfires in California to Worsen, While Monsoon Douses Southwest [Newsweek]
In California, One Wildfire Supprressed As Another Blaze Grows [NBC News]
Maryam Kia-Keating is a clinical psychologist and writer with a Ph.D. from Boston University. She is a professor at the University of California, Santa Barbara where she has examined the psychological impact of wildfires and other disasters on children and parents, in terms of both the consequences of trauma and the potential for resilience.
