Heartsick, But Singing

November 6, 2024

after Love Notes and Dissent

i thought that reading poetry to
november air would be enough.
i thought that, together, we could
mend our cracking, smashed-up
hearts. but, america, the truth is?
you need us now more than ever.
you need me at the microphone
speaking up, despite fear or
shaking. you need the strangers
i watched sharing shade on a
gleaming june evening. you need
kindness i encountered half a
world from home, and my care
and respect for the friends i
disagree with, and our audacity
to light our lamps in this darkness.
you need our relentless fight for
our rights; our work for peace in
war’s deepening shadow; our
willingness to apologize for pain
we’ve been a part of. you need
us to stitch your gunshot wounds
with gentleness and to hold your
bloodied children through terror
and to steadfastly believe in a
future no longer riddled with
bullets. you need our votes every
election and our unyielding stand
against insurrection and for
us to protect our democracy with
all that we are. you need our outrage
and our hope. we love, and fight,
and dream side-by-side. we sing
in the darkening november air. we
pledge ourselves to each other—
again, and always. we offer empathy,
and tenderness, and shelter in the
tempest, whether we’re circled
college students reading langston
hughes in the diffusing light, or
we’re older, and far-flung, and braver,
somehow. we are resolute, and
thankful, and aching, and america,
and that sparking, lionhearted
courage called faith

Poet’s Note

I wanted to respond to our current moment and to the poem I wrote four years ago that found a home with Poets Reading the News. “Love Notes and Dissent” means a lot to me and has been a real touchstone in my manuscript and my life. In the last several years, I’ve often thought about what Ross Gay once shared with me: “Tenderness, sometimes, is harder.” With all the fear and hatred we’re buffeted by, it takes more effort to choose hope. To choose courage, and empathy, and love. May we keep spreading light in the darkness.

Catherine Strayhall is a nerdfighter from the Kansas City area and a former assistant editor for Poets Reading the News. Her debut collection, Dress Me Like a Prizefighter, was released earlier this year (Spartan Press). Catherine’s work has appeared in KANSAS! magazine and at the Johnson County Arts & Heritage Center. She is a two-time winner of the Sullivan Poetry Award (Kansas State University).

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