Wiretap Tweets — The Definitions

April 16, 2017

Terrible (tĕr′ə-bəl): n. A salutation. Syn.: dear, my dear, hi, hello

Just (jŭst): n. & v. A statement of absolute truth. Ex: Just found out that Obama had my “wires tapped.”

Found Out (found out): tr.v. To receive an incontrovertible revelation of indisputable fact from a minor entertainment personage on Fox News.

Wire (wīr): n. A force aimed at crushing narcissism.

Tap also Tapp (tăp): n. A euphemism for the shattered fantasies of a tyrant.

Lawyer  (loi′yər): n. Someone who will teach everyone a lesson.

Sacred (sā′krĭd): adj. A term used to depict something as being religious when one is wholly ignorant of religion or spirituality. Ex: sacred toothpicks, sacred cornflakes, “sacred election process”

“Wiretap” (wīr′tăp′): tr.v. To watch, surveil, or look at. Ex: “Wiretap” that girl, Billy, and pass me a Tic Tac.

Bad  (băd): adj. A dyspeptic global emotion experienced upon waking in the early hours and relieved only through tweeting before breakfast or by experiencing a huge, laxative induced, bowel movement.

Sick Guy (sĭk gī): n. Any member of the entire world that disagrees with the tyrant.

Sad (săd): adj. 1. Whatever inhibits grandiosity. 2. n. The present state of affairs in the United States of America.


Read More:
Citing no evidence, Trump accuses Obama of tapping his phones during the election [LA Times]

Charles Brice is the author of “Flashcuts Out of Chaos” (WordTech Editions, 2016). His poetry has been nominated for a Pushcart Prize, and has appeared in over 45 publications including in The Atlanta Review, Hawaii Review, Chiron Review, The Dunes Review, SLAB, and Fifth Wednesday Journal.

 

Previous Story

Aleppo Portrait

Next Story

The Paris Agreement

Latest from Opinion

Dear Moon

Our resident advice columnist helps the sonically-agitated, the hacked, and those lacking in prospects.
Abortion Referendum in Ireland

Home

By Judith Kingston. On ambiguity after the historic vote to legalize abortion in Ireland.

The Meadow

By Tara Campbell. Is human violence just another unhappy gift of nature?

Left to Right

By Cynthia Atkins. An unflinching look back on the Trump era, even as it continues to unfold.
Go toTop

More Like This

Hallowed

We are on our own together with only as much magic as we remember how to find.

Forty-Two Days Until the Election

In the lead-up to the vote, omens and anxieties are hard to tell apart.